Rhiana vs. Ma Po Tofu, Round 2

Alright, Ma Po Tofu. I see you there in that plastic tub, and I can count at least 20 malignities of hua jiao lingering on the surface of your delicious sauce. You may have bested me in the restaurant, but I shall be the victor tonight. Much pained eating ensues, followed by frenzied drinking and, finally, triumphant cries at the sight of a clear plate. I quite enjoyed that! Hua jiao, I have learned, contains 3% hydroxy-alpha-sanshool. This explains the tingling and numbness, but not the deafness I experienced. (Perhaps we'll never know the cause of that.) Also, hua jiao is not illegal as I wrongly assumed, but was banned from importation until 2006, because it carried a disease called citrus canker that could infect North American plants. Now, it's heated to 70 degrees Celsius prior to leaving Asia. The fact that it's a new arrival in Canada explains why I've eaten a lot of Sichuan food without ever tasting a hint of hua jiao until this very week! I've unfortunately never been to Sichuan, and I don't recall ever eating Sichuan food in Hong Kong, so someone will have to update me on the current hua jiao situation there.

Hua jiao - BEWARE!!!!

Murder, by Mapo Tofu

Last night Kaz and I popped into what my dear friend Zhao (Chengdu native) calls "the most authentic Sichuan restaurant in Toronto", Ba something Ren Jia Sichuan Guan on Steeles. I was about to find out how true that was, as we ordered one of my favourites, Ma Po Doufu and some Gongbao chicken for good measure. Zhao Zhao always told me that Sichuan food is very spicy because of the pepper, but I mistook this to mean the spice of the chili pepper (la jiao) instead of the foreign item hua jiao (flower pepper?). Kaz said they use this hua jiao pepper in Japan (called sansho) in VERY small quantities, but I was truly unprepared for this taste; unlike anything I've ever eaten. It was very peppery - more like an exorbitant amount of black pepper than chili pepper, and it soon paralyzed my tongue, my lips, and affected my hearing. I think I almost fainted! Kaz and I were both dying, gobbling huge amounts of rice with tears streaming down our faces. I immediately called Zhao, and because my ears were temporarily malfunctioning, I didn't realize that I was yelling very loudly in the otherwise quiet establishment. Of course, I was hollering in Mandarin about dying from hua jiao-induced spice and needing something to take away the pain, and Kaz was getting embarassed. I was getting louder and louder, as my panic grew, and after I yelled "Wo zai si.... la si wo! La si wo!!!!!!" with great vehemence, waitresses bearing water suddenly rushed at us from all sides. I appreciated it, and I apologized for yelling, and the waitresses encouraged me to order their "foreigner version" with fewer offending peppercorns next time. Naturally, I balked at the idea of eating foreigner food of any kind (sidenote: this is Canada and I was born here, so why should I be referred to as a "foreigner"????) and the remaining Ma Po Doufu is waiting for me in the fridge, challenging me. I will eat it! I managed to figure out why I've never eaten this particular spice before: it's not legal to import it, and the chefs actually smuggle it into Canada under their clothes, like a drug. I wonder if it's illegal because of its affect on hearing.....

So I'm sitting here in my summer office, as a bored little receptionist. The panic to make my university tuition for the year is on, and this office job, on top of duties within our own business, is my part of the bargain. Normally, I hate offices, and I tire quickly of the mundane trivialities that must be dealt with each day, and I whine incessantly both our loud and inside my head. Instead, I'm still smiling. Two things have changed my attitude - a determination to honour God with my work regardless of how meaningless I consider it to be, and a new-found career goal that spurs me on. I've got to pray throughout the day to keep a good attitude, or rather, a sincerity in my good attitude since I always want people to be happy with me and, therefore, I behave well. I'm just so bored, waiting by the phone, doing crossword puzzles and reading 5 newspapers each day. I think I'm ready for Jeopardy, I've absorbed so much trivia. I want to join the Foreign Service, and become an Ambassador before I turn 45, and according to our Ambassador in Australia, I have a very good chance of being accepted to the Service because of my language background, once I finish my degree and perfect my now-dismal French. A major focus of the VERY demanding entrance exams is current events and knowledge of seemingly miniscule facts, so I'm brushing up my skillz. Did I mention I'll need at least 3 more years before I can take these exams? I am that excited. My Kaz is pretty excited about us becoming a "diplomat" family, because we are very well suited to the nomadic lifestyle. He's always hoped that I would be the one with a steady job so he can roam the globe and shoot documentary projects, and we will have diplomatic passports and will be virtually un-arrestable!!! No more parking tickets for us! Seriously, I think I can really make a difference. And it's been a while since I felt that way.

This is what I look like after 2 hours of makeup. Now, I don't want to spoil the ending of our makeover show on So Chic, but I thought I'd give you, my dear friends, a sneak-peek at us at the end of our transformation. We happened to run into a friend who took this picture while we were shooting the party scene at Rock the Preppy, and this is the only shot I've seen of our final looks. (Of course, the makeup is overdone for television.) Anyway, look for the whole show airing in the fall, more details to come once they are available. We're going to have a viewing party then!