Pandemonium

It's a rainy Saturday in Toronto. The dog has cabin fever, and is devouring any paper products she can find out of frustration. Have you ever seen a frustrated Boston terrier? It's not a pretty sight. I'm feeling rather melancholy (maybe I should stop listening to Imogen Heap and Feist?), and very overwhelmed. Yesterday was our biggest shoot ever (and highest paid job) and Kaz and I have been bundles of nerves for weeks. That was 13 hours of mayhem - lugging half of our own office (props for the "dorm room" we had to create) along with every piece of photo equipment we own to a smattering of locations across the GTA with two clients (with clashing ideas of the images they need), one assistant, two wardrobe stylists, one makeup artist and four male models/comedians in tow. As usual, I wore the wrong shoes. Kaz nearly smashed a lens/decapitated a model while shooting in a BMX stunt bowl, with a wide-angle lens that make objects look much farther away than they really are. The poor cutie got a bruise on his cheek, and I'm thankful he isn't going to sue us. My Mom's been on a conference in Mont Tremblant for the past week, so we've pushed all the furniture away and had denizens of dogs in our living room studio, frantically trying to accumulate enough pictures for next weekend's Woofstock Dog Festival. Between tent rentals, banner and t-shirt ordering (from a store staffed entirely by idiots), print-making, adevertising and making 8000 copies of our price list, I think I've given myself an ulcer and the dentist said I ground all of the enamel off my teeth while sleeping. (She also said I have my first cavity and need braces before my wisdom teeth come in.) Since this is our first show, I have no idea what to expect. The fact that Kaz and I are both finicky, high-strung perfectionists doesn't help the situation either. Unfortunately, next week is the filming of our TV show, and that takes two fifteen-hour days of shopping, primping and partying in stilettos with martinis. I get the $2000 budget (for one lonely outfit - I could buy a whole wardrobe for that!) I had a bad dream that they dressed me in leopard print and those gaudy lucite hooker shoes with rainbow LCD lights embedded in the soles. But that ensemble doesn't cost $2000, so it probably won't happen. So, yeah. Can you tell that I've been talking like a chipmunk? I've been trying to find my peace, but it's a real challenge when everything seems to be happening all at once, you know? I've had to make so many decisions, and then more decisions based on the first ones. It makes me worried that if there is a flaw in my lower-rung choices, everything could topple, like a human pyramid with a frail narcoleptic on the bottom tier. Self-doubt. Insecurity. Mistrust. These are the names of my demons, and the enemies of my faith. To combat this melancholy diatribe, I will relate the joys of receiving my new phone from Shanghai, a very pretty Nokia 7360 from the L'Amour series with a harmonious and soothing ring. It was well-worth waiting for a month and a half, and since it's not available here, it's special. Oh, and lucky Kaz got a new camera - a Canon 5D. Full-screen, and 12 Megapixels? Oh yeah!